Parenting has never been simple, but raising children in the digital age comes with unique challenges that parents from earlier generations never had to face. From the moment kids pick up a tablet or log onto a gaming platform, they’re navigating a world filled with opportunities for connection—but also for conflict. Teaching empathy and respect has always been at the core of raising kind, responsible kids. Today, those lessons must extend not just to the classroom or playground but to the online spaces where children spend so much of their time.

Why Empathy Matters More Than Ever

Empathy—the ability to put yourself in someone else’s shoes and imagine how they might feel—is one of the most important skills children can learn. Research consistently shows that kids who develop empathy are more likely to form healthy relationships, succeed academically, and grow into adults who contribute positively to their communities.

But in a digital world, empathy often gets lost. Behind a screen, it’s easy for kids to forget there’s a real human being on the other end of a message or post. A sarcastic comment, a mocking emoji, or the exclusion of someone from a group chat might not seem like much in the moment, but it can deeply wound the person on the receiving end.

As Dr. Michele Borba, author of Unselfie: Why Empathetic Kids Succeed in Our All-About-Me World, explains: “Empathy is the most important value we can teach our children, and in today’s world, it’s also the most endangered.”

Modeling Kindness at Home

The first and most powerful way children learn empathy is by watching their parents. Kids notice how adults treat each other, how they speak to strangers, and how they respond to stress or conflict. If a child sees their parent berating a cashier for a mistake or ignoring a homeless person on the street, they absorb those cues as acceptable behavior.

That’s why experts emphasize the importance of modeling. Show kindness in everyday interactions: thank the delivery driver, check in on a neighbor, listen attentively when your child talks about their day. When kids witness respect and compassion in action, they’re more likely to mirror it themselves.

Parents can also make kindness a family value. Create rituals like sharing “one good deed” at the dinner table each night or volunteering together on weekends. These activities reinforce the message that empathy isn’t just a lesson to be learned—it’s a way of life.

Talking About Online Behavior

Kindness in the digital world requires intentional teaching. Many kids don’t realize that their words or actions online can cause harm because they can’t see the other person’s immediate reaction.

Parents should have open, ongoing conversations about online behavior. Ask your kids questions like:

• How would you feel if someone posted that about you?
• Do you think your message might be misunderstood without your tone or facial expression?
• If you wouldn’t say it in person, should you say it online?

Establish clear family rules about digital communication. Encourage your child to pause before posting and ask themselves whether their words are true, necessary, and kind. As Ruth Carter, an attorney specializing in internet law, puts it: “Kids need to understand that online words have real-world consequences.”

Encouraging Perspective-Taking

One of the most effective ways to teach empathy is through perspective-taking—helping kids imagine what life is like for someone else. This can happen naturally during daily conversations or intentionally through books, movies, and stories.

Reading, for example, is a powerful empathy-building tool. Studies show that children who read fiction develop stronger skills in understanding others’ emotions. After finishing a story, ask your child questions like: Why do you think the character made that choice? How do you think she felt when that happened?

Family discussions about current events can also encourage perspective-taking. If you hear about a local act of bullying or a national story of discrimination, talk about how the victims might feel and what could have been done differently. These conversations help kids connect abstract values like fairness and respect to real human experiences.

Teaching Digital Citizenship

Just as kids learn the rules of the road before driving, they need guidance on how to be responsible digital citizens. Digital citizenship is about using technology ethically, safely, and respectfully.

Parents can start by teaching children about privacy and security—reminding them not to share personal information or post anything they wouldn’t want everyone to see. But digital citizenship goes beyond safety; it’s also about respect. Teach your kids that “likes,” shares, and comments carry weight. Excluding someone from a group chat or piling on in an online joke at another child’s expense is a form of harm.

Some schools now integrate digital citizenship lessons into their curriculum. If your child’s school doesn’t, consider using resources from organizations like Common Sense Media, which offers age-appropriate guides for families.

Handling Mistakes with Compassion

No child is perfect. At some point, even the kindest kid may say something unkind online or join in on teasing. When this happens, resist the urge to shame or punish harshly. Instead, treat it as a teachable moment.

Ask your child why they said or did it, how they think the other person might have felt, and what they can do to make amends. Encourage them to apologize directly and sincerely. These conversations teach accountability and reinforce the idea that mistakes can be opportunities for growth.

As parenting expert Dr. Laura Markham says: “Our goal isn’t to raise perfect children. Our goal is to raise children who know how to repair relationships when they make mistakes.”

Practicing Kindness Offline

While much focus is on digital behavior, kindness is just as important in face-to-face interactions. Encourage your children to notice the feelings of others: holding the door for someone with full hands, sitting with a classmate who looks lonely at lunch, or helping a sibling with homework.

Role-playing can be especially effective for younger kids. Act out scenarios—like a friend being excluded from a game—and ask your child how they might respond. This practice equips them to act with empathy when similar situations arise in real life.

Building Resilience

Finally, raising kind kids isn’t only about teaching them how to treat others—it’s also about helping them handle unkindness directed at them. Building resilience means showing children how to bounce back from hurtful words, whether online or offline.

Teach your child coping strategies such as taking a break from their devices, talking to a trusted adult, or engaging in activities that build confidence. When kids know they have the tools to recover, they’re less likely to internalize cruelty—and more likely to respond with compassion instead of retaliation.

The Bigger Picture

Raising kind kids is about more than preventing bullying or ensuring polite manners. It’s about shaping a generation that values empathy, respect, and responsibility both in person and in the digital spaces where so much of their lives unfold.

Technology will continue to evolve, but the core values of kindness and empathy remain timeless. By modeling compassion, encouraging perspective-taking, and guiding your children through the complexities of digital life, you give them the tools to thrive in today’s world and to make it a better place for others.